Trauma Bond (or Karmic Bond) vs. Twin Flame Connection

Confusion between a trauma bond (i.e. a Karmic Connection) and a Twin Flame Connection is common.

Which is not surprising because in a trauma bond, there is an extremely strong attraction between the two parties, accompanied thereafter by a whole host of issues.
The pain associated with trauma bonds is also no joke for sure.

Trauma Bond

What is a trauma bond?

A trauma bond is created when two individuals through several past lives have been encountering each other in relationships that possess the same issues.
These issues are usually created because of co-dependency and/or attachment between the couple.
Although gender may vary from lifetime to lifetime, and the roles in which the two are reincarnated may switch, the underlying theme will remain consistent.
An example would be when a wife is in an emotionally abusive relationship with her husband. Yet, the wife feels fully dependent on the husband because he provides her with financial support and an occasional gift or two. The constraints of her own mind makes her feel that she is unable to survive without the husband, even though he may be deriding her daily until she feels worthless. She will also make excuses for his bad behaviour, such as he is under a lot of stress, but he really loves me that is why he still supports my financial needs, etc..  It is essentially a very unhappy and painful relationship, yet she clings to it.

The husband in the meantime is deriving some dark satisfaction from the constant abuse, and is in fact attached to it to the extent that he will be very uncomfortable without having her around to denigrate. She becomes like a comfortable pair of old slippers to him, and uses her to feel superior, boost his ego, or to release stress when he is in a bad mood.

In the next lifetime (or maybe several lifetimes down the row), he has to pay back to her the bad karma. She then becomes the abuser, and he the abusee. Again, because of their own restrictive thoughts and attachments to this pattern that both have become so accustomed to, the couple will continue with this toxic relationship. Even if one party may from time to time run away, due to the co-dependency and attachment to the deeply entrenched pattern, they will eventually come back again to each other to repeat the cycle.

As long as the inner shadows of at least one party is not removed, this karmic rotation will continue indefinitely through different lifetimes.

This is the trauma bond that exists between both parties.

Because of the many lifetimes spent together (even if in pain), both parties will feel a strong attraction towards each other.
Even the suffering that one party inflicts on the other will feel familiar (because this was their pattern in their past lives), and therefore they will perceive that they are unable to leave each other permanently.

Due to all the write-ups regarding Twin Flames being inexorably drawn to each other and then the agony that they undergo, many trauma bond couples mistake their relationship as Twin Flames.

This is quite natural because “Twin Flames” sounds better (socially) than “Trauma Couple”, and therefore it is simply human nature to select a more palatable label.
Healing for Trauma Bonds versus healing for Twin Flames.

For trauma bonds, it is only necessary to heal the trauma itself.

Once that trauma or specific karmic pattern is eliminated, the parties are free to live their own lives happily separate from each other without any further entanglements.

However, sometimes, under the trauma bond may also be a soulmate or Twin Flame connection.

If there is a soulmate connection, once the trauma is removed, a beautiful soulmate relationship will emerge and the couple will be very blissful together. They will unite physically for the long term as a “perfect couple” lauded by society.

On the other hand, should the underlying connection be that of Twin Flames, before the Twin Flames can come into a permanent 3D union, each of the Twins will have to eliminate all (or at least a huge majority) of the shadows within each of them.

This will include unconscious imprints of society that has been ingrained in the respective Twins.

The reason for this is because Twin Flame couples are meant to deconstruct societal traditions that are no longer useful for the evolution of human consciousness.

As such, if the Twin Flames have not fully (or at least almost completely) realized their own shadows, they will not be able to withstand societal pressures for being such an “oddball” couple. Nor will they emanate the type of energies or inspiration that will raise the collective consciousness as a whole.

How do I know if it is Twin Flame or Trauma Bond Connection?

In trauma bonds, similar to Twin Flames, there may also be telepathy between the two parties as they have been together in many lifetimes. Particularly so if both are soulmates as well.

However, one of the most obvious earmarks of a Twin Flame connection versus a trauma bond connection is the astral/telepathic sex that is only possible between Twin Flames. This has however led to some spirits masquerading as Twin Flames to humans who are seeking their twin flames so as to enjoy the sexual energies of the human (I will touch on this in a separate article).

Due to the soul merge, automatic kundalini awakening and constant sharing of energies between the Twin Flames, no matter how far apart the Twins are physically, they can still make love to each other telepathically. To the extent that the physical body will automatically react.
And therefore if one Twin cheats on the other and makes out with a third party, the other Twin will also feel this and be aware of what the other Twin is doing (which will be a most nauseating experience because it will seem like an ultimate betrayal).

In the absence of the energy/soul intimacy between the couple, notwithstanding the strong pull towards each other and the ensuing anguish, it is not likely that the connection is that of Twin Flames.

Again, it cannot be over-emphasized that no one form of relationship is superior to the other. Every difficult relationship has a lesson to be learnt. And in fact, the more difficult the relationship, the more we awaken spiritually and empower ourselves further.

Therefore once we learn those lessons, we become empowered and more harmonious people who will also automatically  attract more supportive relationships to ourselves.

As the Kelly Clarkson song goes, “ What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” .