Several years ago, I joined a community because I was looking for something many of us say we want-
- Connection
- Support
- Sisterhood
I wanted meaningful conversations with women who were committed to growth, healing and making a difference in the world.
In many ways, I found that. But, I also discovered something I wasn’t expecting. Beneath the surface were currents I hadn’t anticipated.
- Competition
- Comparison
- Unspoken Hierarchy
- Questions about who belonged
- Who was succeeding
- Whose voice carried the most influence
It wasn’t all bad. In fact, far from it. I am so grateful for that experience because it taught me a great deal and introduced me to people I still value today.
It challenged an assumption I didn’t realize I was carrying. I believed that bringing like minded people together automatically created sisterhood.
What I learned is that community and sisterhood are not necessarily the same thing.
Community is a gathering of people. Sisterhood is a quality of relationship. One can exist without the other. That realization led me to wonder how many of us have had similar experiences.
Perhaps we have joined groups hoping to find belonging and left feeling disappointed. Perhaps we have been hurt by friendships, communities, coaches or leaders we once trusted. Perhaps we have learned to keep one foot outside the circle, just in case.
It is not because we don’t want connection, but because connection feels more complicated than we expected.
Despite all of that, most of us still long for community.
We want places where questions are welcomed and spaces where we can learn from one another. We want relationships built on respect instead of competition.
Perhaps the answer is not giving up on community but rather becoming more intentional about the kind of community we create.
A community where curiosity matters more than uncertainty. Where people are encouraged to share rather than perform. A place where different perspectives coexist and where trust is built slowly, honestly and over time.
Maybe genuine sisterhood is not something we find. Maybe its something we build together.
I’d love to hear your experience.
Have you ever joined a community looking for connection and found something different than you expected? What helped you feel genuinely supported, seen and welcomed? Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s have a real conversation about this.
Perhaps the future of wellness isn’t more information but learning how to be in community again.
