Have you ever felt it—a deep, restless yearning for change, a quiet ache that whispers there’s more to you than the life you’re living? I know I have. For years, I circled the same patterns, trapped in a rhythm that felt more like a cage than a dance. I tried the usual paths—counselling, meditation, journaling, sheer willpower, reading all the books, coaching—whilst these actions supported healthy development, something remained missing, a longing that couldn’t be quietened. Then, like a wolf catching the scent of the wild, I stumbled into a truth: freedom wasn’t abiding in silence or stillness alone. It was alive in the pulse of music, the flow of movement, offering the courage to ask the big discovery and inquiry questions. Then, a true spiritual inquiry program appeared, that was and is nothing short of transformational.
Whilst what was to arise took time, it eventually saw me, selling almost all possessions, relocating to the other side of the globe, becoming a nomad not by design, quitting and detoxing from corporate life, to sitting with spiritually wise shamans, diving deeply into ancient traditions; revisting unique healing of Tai Chi, Qi Gong, and the soul-stirring power of curated and vibrational music, deepening the process of discovery and inquiry. It moved me to bring awareness to where energy is blocked or stored, use the brilliance of vibrational medicine, journalling for reflection, deepening the realisation of freedom. One which couldn’t be derived from the ‘ polished, intellectual, well-rounded corporate ego’ where the cries of ‘my authentic truth’ are shouted from the tree tops for all to hear.
In fact, transformation came quietly, unceremoniously and fraught with ‘self-occupied dark and deep pot-holes’; all far from a demanding chaotic voice claiming ‘this is my authentic truth’. It was still, a quiet inner wildness of spirit, containing universal will, a silent voice whose intended pathway was unknown.
Estés demonstrated that the inner wildness of spirit isn’t chaos—it’s home, it is unity. It’s where intuition reigns, our ancestors’ bones sing, the soul generates its rhythm and becomes the centre from which we live and ‘truth’ moves from. Truth in our current fragmented modern world, appears to have become a catch cry, appearing to emerge from the healthier levels of the ego construct. This said ‘truth’ remains a partial truth at best, one of ‘ I have this perspective or that perspective’, which holds a truth, yet remains partial and relative to the human being expressing it.
Much of what is observed appears in the ache of a world fragmenting itself, of people ignoring the messy truth or reality about themselves, where the strive and drive to ‘achieve’ peace, happiness, perhaps even spiritual enlightenment is simply another goal. This can become another pre-occupied process; one which is truly missing the beautiful and all encompassing depths beneath that messiness, where true transformation abides in wait, smouldering, dormant, in apparent silence, to reveal the true breath of spirit, if only we would ‘be’ with it, instead of searching for ‘it’.
Clarissa Pinkola Estés, in Women Who Run with the Wolves , writes of the wild woman—the one who knows her rhythm, moves with instinct, howls when the world tries to tame her, the woman who has explored her deep interior, asking ‘who is it that decides where to spend her money’, ‘what clothes to buy’ ‘what behaviour is best’; yet knowing what it is that pulses through her body in a voice unspoken urging her toward freedom beyond that which society decides. These women demonstrate we’re not meant to be stuck, be boxed in, live a fragmented life, fit into a defined ‘ structure’ or ‘role’; dwindling the spirit, extinguishing creativity, and driving us further away from our fierceness, joy, innocence and love.
The wildness within us doesn’t thrive in rigid routines or flourish from one-size-fits-all fixes, roles or identities placed upon us as beings at birth. True wildness is demonstrable unity, complete with the magic of a cosmic unspoken ‘truth’ that sets us free; demands a move toward deep stillness, harmony of body, mind, and spirit—a dance between structure and freedom.
An illumination of a path, that shakes off the chains of old patterns, removes the veil to what’s true; is not that which is espoused as ‘extraordinary’, ‘finding one’s bliss’, ‘finding one’s purpose, becoming a guru’ which many appear to be seeking. Many of whom are faced with the challenge to discern between spiritual materialists, anything from ‘scientists’ to lay people presenting the answer to the illusive freedom from ‘ourselves’, offering a ‘magic pill’, versus that of a true path of awakening that is quite simply, ordinary. One which is filled with the confrontation of un-truths, facilitating the dishevelment of worn out clothes, becoming aware of ‘identification labels and badges’ that we individually have come to believe to be ‘ourselves’.
Estes’s skill in weaving ancient traditional stories into her work demonstrates that there doesn’t have to be a choice between science and spirit, between body and soul; true unity encompasses it all, no one thing is separate from the other. Exploring ancient mystical stories, synthesising them into modern perspectives demonstrates we, as beings, are truthfully, spiritually whole. Ancient wisdom invites us to explore deeply our internal voices in silence, moving us through creativity to discover answers to the deepest and darkest questions. Only through these practices, can we discover boundaries unseen, discovering the constructed ‘occupied self’ seeking to own even ‘ the spiritual nature’, ‘ identifying itself’ as awakened or spiritually aware, paradoxically preventing the spreading of our wings into what we truly are – ‘clear, whole and free’.
