I guess I could look better than I do…

for a 55-year-old personal trainer.

I gained 10 lbs this year.

Not because I was careless.

Because I was grieving.

Not hydrating.

Not sleeping.

Not eating.

You know that cycle.

And still… this body has carried me through.

Depression in my teens — the start of the yo-yo.

By 19, I was anorexic. My boyfriend had never dated anyone over 135 lbs.

For years I managed my weight like it was my job.

Skinny. Controlled. “Fine.”

Until 28 — when I realized I’d been unhappy for a long time.

I changed my relationship… and gained 18 lbs in 6 months.

Then divorce.

Then the next vice: substance abuse.

145lbs to 95lbs.

I became a personal trainer, got fit and managed for some years until I wanted to fit in with my friends.

Alcohol and weekend dinners out, 139lbs became 163lbs by 2020.

Weighed in at 139lbs May 2024.

Weighed in at 149lbs December 2025.

So yeah — I guess I could look “better.”

But what matters more than that is how I feel about myself.

And this year?

I’m giving up the punishment.

It’s not easy. I’m still learning.

But I’m done treating my body like it’s something I have to earn my way back into.

Because I know the dark side.

And I’ve stepped into the light many times over.

My experience isn’t just professional.

It’s personal.

That’s why I coach the whole human:

mind, body, emotions, spirit — not just workouts and macros.

So if you’re looking for a coach who actually knows…

because she’s walked the path herself—

I’m here.

If this hits, tell me: what’s one way you’ve been punishing yourself that you’re ready to stop?